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"I Already Have Plans", by Michelle
Copyright © May 11, 2001, Age 19

From the very first kiss, I knew I loved him. I was scared to tell him that, in fear of being hurt. What would I do if I said those words? He told me he wanted to marry me, he said, "I already have plans…" I said, "I don't know if I can," and he replied, "Trust me, I already have plans..."

I finished my school, now to wait for him. He said, "I'll hurry, I promise, please wait, I love you." So with a smile and I love you, I patiently waited. With each new day I fell more in love with him. I knew he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We already had our rings picked out; I just couldn't wait. He said, "Just a few more weeks and then we can make plans. Please just wait." So I did.

He soon began to drift away. I tried to figure out what I had done. I soon discovered he had a new love. Drugs were his new love; marijuana was what he wanted. He said, "It's only this time, I'll quit soon, I promise, just wait." So I did.

Christmas came and it passed, things were going good, but the marijuana was getting out of hand. He complained because he didn't have a job. One would come, and few days later, gone. Every night he was with his friend, getting high, so many times I cried. New Years Eve came, I asked him to spend it with me. He simply replied, "No, I already have plans..."

I walked away that night, upset, out of tears to cry. I went back to tell him I loved him. He asked me what I was doing, it was clear he was already high. I told him I loved him and with a kiss, I left. I remembered his words, "Just wait…" So I did.

The last night I saw him, I didn't want to leave. It was time for college; he told me he was proud. He played video games and we talked a while. Standing in his driveway, I said, "I don't want to leave." He replied, "College is more important than me, I will always love you. Now go get some rest so you can leave tomorrow." So with a sweet kiss and I love you, too, I did.

A few weeks went by, I talked to him a couple of times. Things seemed to get worse. I soon heard of him and the marijuana, this time my best friend was smoking it with him. What did I do, where did I go wrong? Finally, able to go home, I could find some answers. I arrived and checked my messages. There was one from him, how wonderful to hear his voice. He said, "I won't see you this weekend. I must break up with you. Have fun in life, I already have plans..."

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