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"Networking – Dads Getting Connected", by Eugene Copyright © 2000
In the business arena, networking and getting connected has never been easier than now. With mobile phones, email and of course, the Internet, one no longer has to face challenges alone. When people network, they do so with a purpose – be it expanding business contacts, widening our base for opportunities or seeking like-minded persons to share ideas and professional expertise. Those with power-networks have an edge over those without. You have a network from which you can draw the experiences of others and a wealth of information to tap on. And knowledge is power. We pursue to build our networks with such aggression and passion in order to stay ahead.
And yet when we enter the family arena, some of us are actually quite lost. We desire to be good fathers and hope to participate actively as a responsible parent. With higher costs of living and greater expectations, a typical family has both parents working to provide comfortably for their children. Yet, it seems that the mothers have it more "together" than the fathers when it comes to tackling the daily challenges of parenthood. Our usual excuse? Its biological. She’s the mother, maternal instinct are much stronger as she had a 9-month head start getting to know the child. While I’m not saying that we make poor parents, we do get by somehow in our own little way because we do love our family. But it does seems that we are always playing catch-up when it comes to parenting, childcare and kids.
It seems that mothers tend to know exactly what to do despite being at work all day.
"I’m starting Junior on solid food."
"Oh, he can start eating chicken and rice already?"
"He is teething. Need to apply some soothing gum gel."
"Gum gel?"
"The journey is long - don’t forget to bring his favorite toy and music CD along."
"Uh, ok. Which one is it? I can’t listen to News Radio?"
How many times have we (half-) heard our wives talking about other mothers and what they did and what their children did. Our first reaction is to dismiss it as woman-folk talk and topics range from "diapers-that-can-hold-the-most" to "how many teeth does he have now?"
But taking a closer look at such gatherings of mothers, I realized that the women have actually beaten us hands down in doing what we thought we did best in our corporate domain! They NETWORKed. Yes. And they have been doing it for years. With their hi-teas, get-together play groups for the little ones, the chit-chatting at the day-care centre, the Sunday brunches. It was done informally, unassumingly; common needs and circumstances brought together a connection of mothers who shared ideas and lend support. With the advent of the Internet, they emailed, they chatted, posted on discussion boards and they surfed.
And so, with the same resolve applied in corporate networking, we must begin to make our own connections - Daddy networking. In wanting to be better fathers, we must make the transition towards being the sensitive, emotionally expressive and involved father for the new millennium. If you feel tentative and in unfamiliar territory, fret not, because you are not alone. Many fathers feel this way too. The good news is that there are fathers who have made the commitment to take on a more active parenting role. But just as working mothers face the daily tussles of balancing career and family, a new set of challenges faces the involved father of today.
Raising a family has never been easy, more so in today’s fast-paced new economy. It helps to share our common problems and forge an alliance of sorts to help see one another through trying times, and to gather again to share the joys of watching our children play and grow together. Informal networking among fathers will yield similar benefits as your corporate network – you are brought together with a common interest, you share ideas, personal experiences, and lend support to each other.
So start making your own connections:
- Find people in a similar situation, as yourself. You meet other fathers when you collect your child from the childcare center or when you bring your children swimming.
- Go online where you’ll find many discussion boards, chat rooms and websites dedicated to parenthood. What’s more, you’ll meet parents from the world over and you’ll be surprised that the challenges they face are no different from yours and mine.
- Start an informal Daddy’s Group – Dads for Dads, with the singular goal of becoming better fathers. Gather two fathers who you know personally and get each of them to gather two more. You'll already have seven dads! But keep the group under 10 as bigger groups tend to get unmanageable.
- And finally, keep in touch...by phone, email, and the Internet. With the world becoming highly inter-connected, there’s always another dad, just like you, working hard to provide for his family and becoming involved in his children's well-being, just a phone or email away.
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